And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
