I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
