Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
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I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
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just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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