google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
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