so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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