we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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