i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
