census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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