He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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