doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
