drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
and she was petting her beer can
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
