i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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