oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
