Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
