So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
