she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
