I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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