so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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