Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
