I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It's never too late to be topless.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize