Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
please come you make the beer taste better
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
