dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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