how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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