My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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