If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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