Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
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