My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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