the new term for farting is butt boxing.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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