It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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