I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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