omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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