can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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