It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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