the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
