I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
