i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
