On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just had sex on a roof
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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