i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
