i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
You left your phone here
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