Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
