Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize