North Korea, Best Korea!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
