question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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