I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
