So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
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I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
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its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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