I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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