just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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