How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
