I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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