so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He better not be in your backpack
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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