I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
