Got a toothbrush?
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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