It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
