I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
