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• (330): View more from Ohio

  when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk

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• (925): View more from California

  Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?

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• (253): View more from Washington

  The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.

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  Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes

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• (845): View more from New York

  weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize

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• (406): View more from Montana

  It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.

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  The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  40s are totally the cure

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.

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