why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.