somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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