Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?