when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
40s are totally the cure
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.