I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
