you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing